Sunday, March 19, 2006

A modern fairy-tale

Greetings, fellow web-travellers. For those of you who happen to stumble upon this desolate corner of the web, I have a tale that is completely and absolutely absurd. In fact, when I first heard it I had to struggle to contain a smirk. I enjoyed a private derisive laugh and marvelled at the credulity of any poor chap that would believe such nonsense. Because it really is a whopper of a story.

Get this. Almost five years ago, some powerful little men decided something needed to be done. You see, history wasn't going the way they wanted it to, so they decided to nudge it along in their preferred direction. These men, after all, create their own reality. From such a lofty position, the lives that they had to sacrifice were mere figures on a computer print-out. They were ants that needed to be cleared for their royal procession. They planned for years, trained men for every part in this theatrical decption, blackmailed some, duped others. They sold the biggest lie imaginable.

Here's what happened. They hijacked four airliners. They murdered the passengers. They murdered the pilots. They installed drone technology in the planes and guided them to four targets. Two hit their targets. Not surprisingly, the fires were minimal. The firefighters had a handle on them. Then something happened. Yes, on 9/11, for the first time in history, the laws that supposedly run our universe were put on hold. Because on that day, a certain shrubbery and his flowery friends needed a miracle. And this shrubbery just happens to have the big guy on his side, and on this fateful day, received an enormous favour. Just this once, the big G, the eater of souls named Yahweh, caused three steel-framed buildings to symetrically collapse when none had done so before (nor since). No, they didn't topple. No, they didn't break into large pieces of rubble. Instead the very materials of which they were constructed exploded, causing the buildings to collapse at free-fall speed into their footprints. Nope, no need for resistance here.

What of the other two craft? Well, it seems one did NOT hit its intended target. We're not entirely sure where it is, but the passengers were no doubt executed and a more reliable plane was used in its place. Here too, physical laws were put on hold. At the pentagon, square pegs fit in round holes, large aircraft politely squeeze and fold themselves into cramped places. Pilots make impossible flight decisions to hit heavily (and newly) reinforced sections of wall. Then the craft manages to totally disintegrate, but leaves the remains of all passengers (sans any hijackers, because they went straight to hell, apparently) intact for DNA identification. But our dear protagonist, Donny Rumsfeld, escaped unscathed and unscrupulous.

And the fourth. Well, it seems here something went wrong. The passengers did not die. As they were taking control of the plane, a military jet shot them down, after several passengers made impossible cell-phone calls with technology from the future. Yep, that's right. From the future.

And after this ruse, these men connived and conspired. They "misspoke" and "told un-truths." In other words, oh horror!, they lied. They tagged the plan on an inept Osama (+ nineteen)! Never mind that he denied it , that many of the 19 turned up alive, or that the Osama-confessional was a fraud.

These people then published fake, manipulative debunkings to divert from the real issue.

Like I said, a complete and utter fairy-tale.

Who could do such a thing? Who could have a mind so audacious and devoid of conscience? What would the world be like if these people actually ruled over us? I'm afraid we've got a pretty good idea...


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